The Beginner's Guide to Sex Toys

Getting Started: What Beginners Actually Need to Know

Exploring sex toys for the first time? From vibrators and dildos to prostate massagers, cock rings, and couples' toys, today's sexual wellness products are designed to support pleasure, intimacy, comfort, and self-discovery. Whether you're shopping for yourself or with a partner, this guide covers everything you need — toy types, body-safe materials, lubricant compatibility, and beginner recommendations for solo and partnered experiences.

• Sex toys aren't just a solo thing
  A lot of couples actually discover sex toys together — not because something is missing, but because they want to explore something new. The right toy can open up conversations you didn't know you needed, and that alone can do a lot for intimacy.
• Vibrators and dildos feel very different — and that matters
  This is probably the most common point of confusion for beginners. Vibrators stimulate through sensation and pattern, while dildos are more about pressure and fullness. Neither is better — they just do different things. Knowing what kind of stimulation you're drawn to makes choosing a lot easier.
• If you're curious about anal play, start smaller than you think
  Most beginners overestimate what they're ready for. A slim butt plug with a flared base and plenty of lubricant is genuinely the best starting point — not because it's the most exciting option, but because comfort at the beginning makes everything better later.
• Cock rings and strokers are more beginner-friendly than they look
  Cock rings are simple, effective, and often underestimated. Strokers offer a completely different kind of sensation to hands alone. Both are worth exploring earlier than most people think.
• Couples' toys work best when you talk first
  App-controlled vibrators and wearable toys sound exciting — and they are — but the couples who get the most out of them usually spend five minutes talking about what they actually want before they start. That conversation matters more than the toy itself.
• Lubricant is not optional
  This one is non-negotiable. The right lubricant makes everything more comfortable, protects your toys, and genuinely changes the experience. Water-based lubricant works with most toy materials and is always a safe starting point if you're unsure.

People use sex toys for all kinds of reasons — and most of them are a lot more straightforward than people expect. Pleasure is the obvious one, but comfort, curiosity, and connection come up just as often.

• For individuals, sex toys offer a way to explore what actually feels good without pressure or guesswork. A lot of people find that solo experiences with the right toy help them understand their own body better than years of partnered sex did — and that knowledge tends to carry over in all the right ways.
• For couples, the motivation is usually less about novelty and more about communication. Introducing a vibrator, a wearable toy, or even just talking about trying something new tends to open up conversations that wouldn't have happened otherwise. That's where the real benefit often is.
• Some people also turn to sex toys for specific wellness reasons — low libido, erection confidence, discomfort during penetration, or simply wanting more reliable satisfaction. These are legitimate concerns, and the right product genuinely helps.
• What most people discover is that the reason they started using sex toys isn't always the reason they keep using them. Curiosity becomes confidence. Solo exploration improves partnered intimacy. A product bought for one purpose ends up solving something else entirely.

Choosing body-safe materials, beginner-friendly designs, and compatible lubricants makes the whole experience more comfortable — and that's usually the best place to start.

Welcome to the world of sex toys. Here are the main types, explained.

Realistic Dildos

Realistic Dildos are insertable toys designed for internal stimulation — vaginal, anal, or both. They don't vibrate, which makes them a popular choice for people who want more control over sensation and pressure.

Most beginners do best starting with something smaller and softer. Body-safe silicone is the go-to material because it's firm enough to be useful but flexible enough to be comfortable. If you're interested in anal use, look for a flared base — this isn't optional, it's a basic safety requirement.

Some people prefer realistic designs, others go for something more abstract. Honestly, it comes down to personal preference. Suction cup bases, harness compatibility, and textured surfaces are worth thinking about once you know what kind of stimulation you're after.

→ Learn more in our Beginner's Guide to Dildos.

Vibrators

Vibrators add a motor to the equation, which opens up a completely different range of experiences. Some focus on external stimulation, some go internal, and quite a few do both.

• Wand vibrators are often the first recommendation for beginners — they're versatile, easy to hold, and work well for different body types and preferences.
• Bullet vibrators are smaller and better for targeted external stimulation.
• Rabbit vibrators combine internal and external stimulation in one design, which sounds complicated but is actually pretty intuitive once you try one.
• Clitoral suction toys have become increasingly popular over the last few years — they use air-pulse technology rather than traditional vibration, and a lot of people find the sensation more natural.

When you're choosing, think about vibration intensity, waterproofing, charging type, and whether you want something discreet or more full-featured. Material quality matters too — body-safe silicone is the standard for good reason.

→ Learn more in our Beginner's Guide to Vibrators.

Butt Plugs

Butt plugs are one of the most beginner-friendly anal toys out there — and probably the best starting point if you're curious about anal play but not sure where to begin.

The design is simple: tapered tip for easier insertion, flared base so it stays put safely. That base matters — it's what separates a proper anal toy from something that isn't safe to use internally. Use plenty of water-based lubricant, go slowly, and there's genuinely not much more to it at the start.

A lot of people are surprised by how much a butt plug adds during orgasm. When your pelvic muscles contract, having something to squeeze against intensifies the sensation noticeably — that's true for all genders. Some people use them for gradual stretching before anal sex, but plenty of others use them purely for the sensation on their own terms.

If you want something a bit more fun, jewelled plugs and weighted designs are worth a look once you know what size works for you.

→ Learn more in our guide: How to Use Butt Plugs.

Anal beads

This sex toy looks like a string of beads, usually made from plastic, metal, or glass. The first few beads are small, slowly increasing in size, so you can enjoy more and more length and girth as you journey toward the toy’s base.

Anal beads can be used alone or to enhance sex and masturbation. They give you a “filled-up” feeling that many people find incredibly pleasurable and can transform a regular orgasm into an earth-shattering one. Think you can take it up a notch? Pull your anal beads out just before you orgasm for an even more intense experience.

With durable, smooth spheres that are easy to insert and remove, anal beads are ideal for all experience levels. If you’re trying anal beads for the first time, I recommend the beginner-friendly BASICS Anal Beads. That said, these gorgeous glass anal beads can’t be ignored.

Discover the different types of anal beads in our Beginner’s Guide to Anal Beads

Cock Rings

Cock rings go by a lot of names — stamina rings, love rings, c-rings — but they all work on the same basic principle. By applying gentle pressure around the base of the penis, they help maintain firmness and increase sensation during use. For a lot of people, that's reason enough to try one.

Most designs are made from soft, stretchy silicone, which makes them comfortable and forgiving for first-timers. One thing worth knowing before you start: put it on while flaccid, use water-based lubricant, and make sure the fit is snug but never uncomfortably tight. If it feels wrong, take it off — cock rings should never be worn through discomfort.

For couples, vibrating cock rings are probably the most popular option. The built-in stimulator sits forward-facing during penetrative sex, which means both partners get something out of it. Some designs use a small pouch for a removable bullet vibrator instead, which gives you more flexibility over intensity and pattern.

Common styles worth knowing about:

• Vibrating cock rings add external stimulation for both partners during penetrative sex — the most popular choice for couples exploring cock rings for the first time.
• Cock and ball rings fit around both the penis and testicles for a more secure fit and stronger pressure sensation. Apply lubricant generously, slip the testicles through one at a time while flaccid, then the penis. It sounds more complicated than it is.
• Adjustable cock rings use snaps or sliders for customizable sizing — a good starting point if you're not sure about fit yet.

Whatever style you choose, avoid wearing for extended periods and remove immediately if anything feels uncomfortable. Body-safe silicone and a good water-based lubricant cover most of what beginners need to get started.

→ Learn more in our guide: How to Use a Cock Ring.

Pocket Masturbators

Pocket masturbators can also be referred to as pocket pussy are exactly what the name suggests — compact, handheld devices designed for solo stimulation that you can store discreetly and take anywhere. No batteries, no charging, no setup. Just soft material, internal texture, and your own hand.

The category evolved partly from products like the Fleshlight — a device that looks like a standard plastic flashlight on the outside but contains a realistic soft inner canal. That design became the template for an entire product category, and the options available now are considerably more varied than that original concept.

Most pocket masturbators are made from TPE or silicone — both soft, flexible materials that prioritize comfort and a realistic feel.

• TPE is more common in budget-friendly options and tends to be softer, but it's porous and requires more careful cleaning.
• Silicone is non-porous, more durable, and easier to maintain — worth the extra cost if you're planning to use the product regularly.

The internal texture is where products really differ. Some use simple smooth canals, others have ribbed, nubbed, or tightly coiled internal designs that create significantly different pressure and sensation. There's no universal answer for which works better — it comes down to personal preference, and most people find their preference by trying rather than researching.

If you're buying your first one, start with something mid-range in texture intensity. Aggressive internal designs sound appealing on paper but can be overwhelming before you know what you actually prefer.

Masturbators & Solo Pleasure Devices

Masturbator is actually a broad industry term — it covers pretty much any device designed to assist with solo stimulation, regardless of gender or body type. If that sounds clinical, don't let it put you off. The category includes some of the most thoughtfully designed products in the sexual wellness space.

The range is wider than most people expect when they first start looking. Here's what the main categories actually cover:

• Best Male Masturbator
  Masturbator includes manual strokers, textured sleeves, automatic thrusting devices, suction eggs, and prostate massagers. Some are designed for targeted stimulation, others for a more immersive hands-free experience. Prostate massagers sit in their own subcategory — they deserve a separate conversation, but they belong here.
• Female Pleasure Devices
  Vibrators, clitoral suction toys, and insertable devices all fall under this umbrella. The lines between categories overlap here more than anywhere else — a clitoral suction toy is technically a masturbator, even if most people wouldn't think to call it that.
• App-Controlled Adult Toy
  The technology side of this category has moved fast. App-controlled vibrators, VR-synced devices, and interactive long distance sex toys are now mainstream products rather than novelties. If you're in a long-distance relationship or just want more control over your experience, this category is worth exploring seriously.

When you're choosing, body-safe silicone is the material standard for good reason — it's non-porous, easy to clean, and comfortable for extended use. Waterproofing, noise level, and lubricant compatibility are practical factors that matter more than most people anticipate before their first purchase.

Water-based lubricant is compatible with silicone toys and a safe default if you're unsure. Start there.

Strap-Ons

If you already know what a dildo is, a strap-on is a straightforward next step — it's a harness system that holds a dildo in place, freeing up both hands and making penetration possible in ways that aren't otherwise. The concept is simple. The variety of what's available is considerably less so.

Strap-ons work for couples across all gender identities and sexual orientations. That's not a disclaimer — it's genuinely the point. Pegging, roleplay, same-sex penetration, adding size or support — the same basic product serves all of these, and the harness and dildo are usually sold separately or as a kit so you can mix and match what actually works for you.

Common styles worth knowing about:

• Beginner strap-on kits usually include an adjustable harness and multiple dildo sizes. Starting smaller and building up gradually is the standard advice for good reason — comfort at the beginning makes everything that follows easier.
• Hollow strap-ons are designed for users who already have a penis but want additional length, support, or a different experience for their partner. Slip a bullet vibrator inside and you add a layer of stimulation that changes the experience considerably for both people.
• Strapless strap-ons are held internally by one partner while providing penetration for the other — no harness required. They take more practice to use well, but the hands-free element and shared sensation make them worth the learning curve for couples who want something more connected.

Vibrating and double penetration designs exist too, but those are conversations for once you know what kind of strap-on play you're actually interested in.

Whatever you choose, water-based lubricant is essential, adjustable harness fit matters more than most people anticipate, and body-safe silicone should be the default material standard for anything insertable.

→ Learn more in our Beginner's Guide to Strap-Ons.